Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
