oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
