this beer tastes like vomit already
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
