He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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