apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
