went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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