i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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