and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
