Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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