somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Randomize
