maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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