i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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