Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
