You work out of a Hotel?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think I just sharted jello shots
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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