If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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