During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
