Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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