Non-Jews are for practice
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
