Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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