Ketchup is God's man juice
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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