Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize