Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
