Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
