Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize