i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
