I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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