His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
