By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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