my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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