This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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