Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize