I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
