I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
