no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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