oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
