Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We need to rekindle our bromance
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
