nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
