Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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