There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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