A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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