i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
