Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
