Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
