she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
