Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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