that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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