we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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