who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
