Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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