If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize