Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
