dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Come see our sink grown plant.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
