I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
