thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
