Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
