I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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