Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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