haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
