ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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