i need an iv and a liver transplant
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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