What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it glows. i had to have it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
