I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
