and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
