He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
