Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
babies were throwing up all over the place
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
